Welcome to Chaotically Rambling. I’m Jenny a 34 year old Mum of 3 (almost) teenage boys! Aussie expat who lived in the UK for almost a decade and currently living in Frankfurt, Germany.
This blog has existed in some shape or form since 2006. As you can imagine it’s focus has changed a lot from year-to-year. It began when I was a 22 year old Mum to 3 small children. We then relocated our family of 5 from a sleepy Australian city to the United Kingdom and I loved to blog about our adventures exporing London. As I grew up and changed I began sharing my views on the world around me and to discuss my issues with body image/weight loss. At some point I split my blog in two and you can find my Food Blog over at chaoticallyme.com. In 2012 and 2013 Chaotically Rambling became a journal to document my memories of childhood abuse.
I underestimated how long this journey of healing would be (lifelong) and the toll it would take on me. I stopped blogging and spent 2013 and 2014 ‘doing real world stuff’ rather than spending 90% of my time in my own head (very useful for blogging). I think it was an important part of my personal development, though I’m not proud of just how much money and time I spent ‘exploring’ and ‘playing’ in those years. We joined various book clubs, spent a ridiculous amount of money exploring my theatre addiction. I lost a lot of weight, bought all the clothes I’d always wanted to wear but had never had the money or the figure for.
I realised how empty achieving ‘the skinny’ I’d thought would fix all my problems really was.
Then the party ended when we bought an old Victorian home in East London. We had been living it up in a nice, spacious flat in London beside a tube station and walking distance (for us) to Borough Market and other parts of Central London that we loved to explore. Our house in East London was in a concrete jungle by comparison with no fun walking areas that didn’t involve busy smog filled roads en route. The neighbourhood was very different and our lifestyle changed to being mostly about ‘the house’ and putting up with an area we hated for the sake of our future. The house was over 3 stories but the rooms were all small and run down and we spent most of 2014 scooting around boxes of crap and trying to make the house somewhat liveable.
We learned a lot about home maintenance and the mysteries of what’s really behind those walls and that toilets and bathroom sinks aren’t magic!
Fast forward to 2017 and we had completed renovating our 117 year old home, had sent half our possessions back home to Australia to be stored in my Mother-in-law’s garage and the other half we loaded up into a 17 seater van and drove along with the whole family (3 kids, 2 cats and 1 hamster) to Frankfurt, Germany. We listed our house for sale hopeful that by November 2017 we’d be packed up and moving back home to Australia.
Unfortunately for the first time in our adult lives no amount of strong will, long sleepless nights working and determination could control how 2017 would play out for our family. Brexit fears had hit the UK and we had a series of misfortunes with buyers (chains falling through and a charming gentleman who tried to Gazunder us!). Fate stepped in and the house didn’t end up selling until February 2018.
2017 for me was one of the hardest years yet. It was the hardest on our marriage to date and to be honest I wasn’t sure if we’d make it through.
Germany did not end up being a fairytale stopover between my two home countries. Some of that is on ‘Germany’ and some of that is on ‘Me’.
I’m looking forward to brushing off the cobwebs and starting to write again. I’ve no idea if I’m still capable but I’ll give it a go!
I’ll be moving over the posts I made in 2015 when I attempted to start blogging again (and failed). I’m trying to consolidate my blogging world so I can start over with all my thoughts in one place.